i wonder how long more

If I only knew you’d hurt me, I wouldn’t have loved so deep. I would have saved my heart from breaking cause it’s not for you to keep. If I only knew you’d fool me, I wouldn’t have been so blind. I would have opened my eyes to reality and stopped your game in time.well.. today was really bad.. i dont know if i am being stupid.. or pathetic.. or..whatever..I wonder.. its almost one month.. we never meet.. never talk.. how long more?

I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left. Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more.

Every morning i get up and put on a fake smile...but what if one morning i didn't? Would anyone notice?