yknow.iknow.

I want that feeling that you get when you love someone and they love you back.

I want to know what that is like again. I honestly don’t feel loved by you anymore. Not with the way this happened. I still keep hope. I think it keeps me from going insane. It keeps me from breaking down in the most random places at the most random of times. But so does telling myself that you hate me and that you don’t love me anymore. That stops the tears faster than having hope. I feel like an idiot for trying so hard. I feel stupid for wanting you back. I feel like sometimes all those good memories were a waste. Why? Because for one minute you made me feel special. You made me feel like I was on top of the world and I could do anything so long as I had you by my side. You made sure that you became my entire world. Then you left. It’s a waste because I am now broken. I lost my world. I didn’t know who I was before I found you, I was starting to figure it out when I had you, now I really don’t know who I am. )':