Back to Reality

How does missy look this morning? Hahah. Anyways, Goodmorning to all those readers out there. Haha. Like Seriously guys, i really don't know if anyone's even reading this emotionless, pathetic, stupid blog of mine. That picture up there, was like taken like last 2 days ago i think? Just trying out some curls on my hair. HAHA, although i know my younger sister doesnt really agrees to the fact that i look better in curls. Its almost a week since my term break starts. And its like totally killing me. I seriously have nothing to do but to just rot to death at home. i need to do something productive but i just cant seem to find the right thing to do. Singapore have to really start to make itself bigger. Looking at Singapore state now. Sigh. im just out of words.

So. Thats how my friday seems to be.Seriously. i feel blessed. After everything that has happen. That  handsome man there stills hold on to me real tight. Ok most prolly there will be like religion problem in the near future between me and him. But that shall wait. But right now. I'm thankful for the past two years of my life. we have went through soo much things together.All those fights, small quarrels about how we should meet, sweet simple gifts, tight hugs and short/long kisses.What more can i ask for? Friday was more of like  'let's just lay side by side tgther and imagine hows future will be' (;

i know i'm still young when it comes to love but with him around , life feels complete. It's no longer honeymoon period for us, due to school stuff, or work, family and etc. But no matter how busy i am or how busy he is, with just a simple 'gdmornn" text from him, it definatly makes my day. I know why allah put him in mylife for some reason i know why his god puts me in his life, but whatever reason they have, i hope he isn't gonna take him away. i'm not ready to lose anyone now. Especially with me in such a state. I can;t imagine anyone else beside me. Cause assurance is a fullmark with him by myside.

He is werid amd he acts all cute and sweet with me. no words can discribe how much he means to me. I know someday i will lose him. But i don't want it to like happen now. Cause it's too fast. Joseph is more of like a brother/boyfriend/companion/bestfriend to me. He can be all fucked up with me, but i know at some point in life, he will tell me, he does all that because he loves me. And thats enough to last a life time.

Oh btw. if ever anyone reads my blog,

you guys can follow me through my instagram: victorianurul

Hahahah. do you think i should like take up modelling? cause i wanna give it a try. Its like a new adventure trip for me. You know what i mean. I've like look through for a few modelling industries, but i seriously can't find any. Sigh.

Have a good weekend alright. I will definately update more!

instagram:victorianurul

twitter: @sexyynuurul

Peace out

Regards.

Victoria Nurulhuda Leighton

kisses.

Goodmorning to people who don't even read this blog of mine.
Okay, I have not really been posting alot. due to my exams and School schedule.
Currently i'm studying at ITE College Central, Taking a course in Nitec Office.
School's been pretty much took up most of my time. I met new friends there. Well. Yeah like new ones.
But seriously, i still prefer my old schoolmates, more of like bestfriends. Oh well. I am currently an active member in Cheerleading. Yeap. I took up a new CCA. Reason being, I look at is part of my intrest and thought maybe i could try it out. Honestly. Its really a whole new thing for me. I mean i was like a former band member and trust me, the atmosphere is totally a whole lot different. HAHHA. Its like 6 Months have passed and theres been so  many things that has been happening. Exams are over and now Im like having a six weeks break?like before the next term starts. HAHAHA.

I started writting but the, inside there is more of like my relationship kinda story. Moree of like Joseph. And surprisingly, I'm still dating him. Like after everything that has happen. The quarrels, The breakups. Ahh well i guess its like normal to like go through all that right? AHAHA.Most prolly i'll elaborate more about this Joseph of mine, whom i've been inlove with for the past 2 1/2years of my life. Oh well.


I honestly miss blogging. Like literally i can like type all i want inside.
That's me.

Because I miss you that much

I thought i was over it, over us and most of all over you. But im not, infact im far from it. Everything reminds me of you, it hurts to think about you with her, doing all the things we used to, but it hurts even more to think that i was so easy to replace. Like seriously, you jumped into bed with her the day after we broke up, how the fuck did you expect me to react to that, i mean if your aim was to hurt me, well fucking done you succeeded, you broke my heart. I loved you so much and i still do, but i could never forgive you for making me feel so shit about myself. Im nothing special i get that but you could of showed a little compassion you fucking prick, but no instead you thought it big and clever to rub it in my face and make me feel about as low as is humanly possible. All the memories we have together, the good ones, are now all tainted by the shitty bad ones, like the day you decided to stop trying, to give up on everything, to give up on me. You promised me forever and always, the only thing you didn’t lie about is that i can do better, not better than you because to me you were perfect, but i can do better than the lies and the cheating and the secrets! nobody deserves to be treated like that, and completely unprovoked. I tried my best to give you everything you wanted, but i guess my best just wasnt good enough.

i love you and there will probably always be a part of me that does, but i refuse to be treated like dirt.

I just miss you. I miss everything. Come back.